This can't be what you want, but you didn't have to demolish me.,

I know this post is a later in the week than usual, but my excuse is that my weekend was a lot worse than usual. This weekend, I took a trip to the worldwide centre of fun that is Malvern. I arrived friday evening, managed to steal myself a room on my own (which I later had to share with one of my small cousins) and had a little look around the place I was staying. The idea of the weekend was to get my family together to celebrate what would have been my great grandmas 100th birthday, if she was still alive. We'd hired out a whole YHA to ourselves, and it was pretty much like every other YHA situated around the country, especially like a place called Ravenstor I went to last year or something. We were the second family to arrive, preceded only by my aunts family, consisting of 3 children between the ages of 12 and 5, two of whom have learning disabilities, one of whom still worship me and follow me everywhere I go, and one who is very prone to punching, headbutting and otherwise causing physical harm to others, as he doesn't understand that its wrong. The other three families all had kids of about 10-14, and the closest to my age was a 15 year old. So I was bound to have fun. I spent the weekend playing hide and seek, tag and other childish games for hours on end, not my idea of a great weekend. The one productive thing of the weekend is that I learnt that bowls is a fucking ridiculous game. We played it on saturday as my great-grandma played for england or something, and the balls are heavier on one side so you have to curve it or something. Why they can't use round balls, I have no idea. Apart from that, I spent the weekend being very bored and trying to hide from the small annoying children. Great fun. By the end of the weekend I was in a foul mood, due to lack of sleep and general annoyance at not being able to have a moments peace. This was moderatly improved when we stopped at Bicester Village and my mum bought me some clothes and a new pair of Vans, which are unusually not black. However, we then hit major traffic jams and so a drive which should have taken us 45 mins took us 3 hours, and I got home without time to do my geog hw, and so I just played some UT then went to bed. Oh, and my hatred for a certain female geography teacher has greatly increased, as I had to wait 45 minutes after school for her to give me a marksheet for my cw, a meeting which she had compeltly forgotten about, despite the fact that I had seen her and asked to speak to her two days before. And she is also implying that she somehow has so much work to do that she can't possibly help an AS geog student with his cw, even though she was away for 2 months while she was supposed to be helping them with their cw, most probaly causing them to get a C in the first place. Thankfully my mum talked to a teacher at her school, and they said they have all sorts of helpful sheets and is more than willing to help me with my cw as much as they can. How is it possible that a teacher from a different school is more helpful and has more information than the teachers at your own school? Just seems strange to me. Oh well, Easter soon. No school, even if I do have to revise. Tomorrow I'm off to cheddar gorge for a hike, and will return saturday evening. Now I have to go and finish my psych investigations exam booklet, which is due in for tomorrow.

I never thought I'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown.

I know exactly where jenni is coming from. I truly cannot be fucked to work, at all. I have sat here for over an hour avoiding doing work. I thought to myself this morning "right, I'll take the day off, and actually get some work done. I mean, I only have two lessons today, I'm knackered, my throat is killing me and I really can't deal with school today. I'd just fall asleep in my lessons and generally be grumpy and antisocial. So I had a little nap. Till 1:30. I then got up, ate and sat down ready to work. First item on the bill was my history essay on the Diet of Augsburg. I looked at it. Did the intro. Decided to wait till everyone else gets home to leech of them. So I opened another word document, this time entitled "Which Instituion within the political system is it most appropriate for pressure groups to lobby". I wrote two lines. Then it occured to me that I hadn't read the latest issue of Questionable Content, which a while ago became interesting, with a major plot twist happening. And thats where it all went wrong. After having read a (fairly boring) comic, I proceeded to read every other webcomic which I have in my favourites. So that was about 20. And then an accident click brought me to weebl and bob, who I haven't checked in on for some months. So that was about 10 2 minute long flash comics to read up. After having done all this I decided to look at some blogs, and then realised "hey, I need to update my blog!". So here I am. Its almost the end of the school day, and I have got precisely fuck all done. Well, so long as I'm here I might as well do a proper update.
Friday was Paul's birthday celeberation at nicks, but honouring my 3 week drinking ban, I didn't drink. I did however buy lots of alcohol for other people, with one trip to sainsburys straight after school with saul, where I bought about £60 worth of alcohol, which was dumped at nicks, and another later on in the evening, which was only around £30. A few interesting things happened while myself and saul where in uxbridge. Firstly, we bought a fair few cheap weapons such as shotguns, uzi, an axe, a sword and a gauntlet from poundland, with the idea of attaching them to a trolley to carry paul home in. Also, while on the way home me and saul were walking down the motorway, we saw a car drive past. This car was on fire. The entire underneath of some volvo was totally going up in flames. We walked past it a little while later, and the entire car was burning out. Thankfully no-one was hurt, but it did make me and saul shit ourselves while we had to walk about 10 feet away from it, fearing it was going to explode at any second. Thankfully it didn't, and I did make i to pauls birthday party in the end, even if I was an hour late. Though when you're not drinking, being an hour late is more fun, as many people (ie: emily, dean, james, paul, saul) were already drunk, meaning you had a lot more to laugh at. The evening preceded with mike tom dean james and quirke drinking lots of JD, while visiting numerous different countries, with myself suggesting the Holy Roman (or Loman, depending on whether you're dean or not) Empire, which resulted in dean giving me an angry look, so i reminded him who bought his alcohol. His hat then got stolen and he yelled at the top of his voice "No! not the hat!" and then ran out of the room very fast, aiming to recover his hat. I mainly stayed in the kitchen as much as possible, as wherever else you seemed to go there seemed to be at least one couple making out, which was both scary and depressing. Thankfully there were numerous things to distract me, including michaels and sauls motor functions severly failing them, and dean (then mike) throwing up, resulting in me having to put my hand in deans sick in order to ensure it all went down the sink. Not much fun at all. The evening ended around 12, with everyone leaving, and saul pushing along the trolley, unfortunately not containing a plastered paul, before dumping it on sainsbuys roundabout. Saturday was a good dao for hockey, I played for the 11s first, with innes and james jackson as well, which was hilariously easy. We won 3-0, and the opposition didn't get a single shot off on our goal. Later on I played against our Vets team, who are top of our league and have a stupidly good side, so we were expecting to get slaughtered. Somehow we managed to pull off a 2-1 victory, with one of the Vets being sent off for yelling abuse at the ref for about half the game, and the whole team were generally pissed off, as they were obviously also expecting to slaughter us. My evening was then spent watching Platoon, an awesome movie which I had never before seen all the way through. Sunday was spent sleeping and effectively doing what I do every sunday, nothing.

The final interesting event so far was going to see Feeder at the Hammersmith Apollo, which was pretty cool. My only complaint is that they didn't play anyway near enough of their older stuff, and far too much from their new album. But apart from that it was a good evening, with the support for GLC being highly amusing, especially watching sam practically exploding from happiness. And now I'm gonna go work...maybe.

Tear us in two, is all I seem to do.

So, I've now officialy resigned myself to a simple weekly post. This is due to a number of facts, namely:

1. Nothing interesting ever happens in my life during the week, as there is no point me typing about what i did in geography, as I was bored doing it once, let alone the second time. Though bitching about certain teachers is fun, andwill probaly feature in the post.
2. I am bone fucking idle. I worked out that I am below 10% productive when I am at home. Most of my time is spent playing Guild Wars (I hit level 20, top level, sometime last week), watching TV, sitting on msn or surfing the web and reading one of the ridiculous amount of webcomics I frequent.
3. I am getting tired of blogging.
   

Anyway, on with the post.
Friday was a cool day, at lunch we ardy gareth jenni and pilch went to the titch during break and period 5 and 6, so I went through geog slightly drunk and stinking of stale smoke. Later on i was again down the titch, for jennis bday. It was a cool evening, ending with a reuinion of the Tudor Way Crew at 2AM, with ranveer turning up while me and richy c were sitting outside his house chatting shit, then creak arriving shortly after. Me creak and richy c went down the alley way to fire BB guns, and chatted shit. Then me and richy c sat on the roundabout for a bit longer, chatting more shit before I headed home. Saturday I played Rover Oxford 3, awfully, due to being totally knackered. We lost 2-0. We're not in threat of being relegated, which could result in us swapping places with the 6th team, whowe are far better than. This sucks very much. Saturday evening I slept, and on sunday I played Amersham and Chalfont, winning my first hockey game for a while (6-0), and putting the Under 18s with a good chance of being in the playoffs. And that was my ever so exciting weekend. Apart from that, the only amusing (and annoying) event of the week was a certain geog teacher making the entire class read out a one page essay we had done, resulting in the entire lesson minus about 10 minutes being wasted with 20 odd people repeating the same thing over and over. Fun. I need to sleep some more. Oh, and I've put myself on an alcohol ban for 3 weeks or so to prove to myself and some others that I can go without alcohol. So don't let me drink.

Long nights, hard times, everything that makes you feel tired, I think i gotta get away from you.

Lately, I suck at two things.
1) Updating my blog more than once a week.
2) Having happy post titles. The happiest one in the whole page was from The Strokes "Heart In A Cage", that being after seeing them. Anyway, on with the post, another bullet pointed one as I still don't feel in the mood for doing much, especially sociable shit, and at the moment blogging is counted as sociable.

• Friday was a most excellent evening, as it was miss kate davis' birthday (soon to be mrs kate whittle if me and mike have anything to do with it). We first went to beefeater, with me and innes combining to spill beer on kate (innes can hit by my bag), though luckily she had time to go home and change. We ate expensive food and innes made a fool of himself and embaressed me by flirting with the waiting and exploding baloons. Stupid house elf.
  
• After the meal me and innes went outside the restaurant to catch up with many of the already drunk people, ended up chatting shit about how much life sucks. The conversation concluded that we needed to drink more beer, and this we did with expertise.
• We arrived at kates half an hour or so later, laden with extra alcohol, and I continued with my "get wasted" mission. it was met with great success as I again played on the bus, and this time i was "on the bus" meaning I had to drink lots of alcohol. After an excellent evening of jeff making a prat of himself and other hilarious events, I headed home with ragav and john, and while walking down tudor way one of them pushed me over a small wall, after which i discovered how my motor functions were severly impaired. After that...I don't remember much. I don't remember getting home, but I do know that I arrived at home with all my limbs and possessions, which I always see as a good thing. And thus saturday arrived.
• Saturday I did FUCKING BOLLOCKS SHIT in hockey, playing 2 games, losing both and sucking in both. I would like to blame it on my hangover, but I really had no hangover. I just sucked. The evening was spent down the Titch in ickenham celebrating richy c's bday and also at sauls, but I decided not to get drunk due to a major U18s game the next day.
• For the third time on the weekend, I lost a game of hockey. However, the first team coach said I played well, which makes me very happy. For a short while anyway.
  

Theres only one thing left to say, and that is a very happy (and belated) birthday to my gangsta friend, mr ricardo colenzo, or as he is more commonly known, richy c. Unfortunately the life size 2pac doll got lost in the post, so your other present should be arriving soon. For now, heres a few photos.




And finally, an advanced happy birthday to a miss jennifer, who will be receiving her present tommorow. Well, sort of, anyway. Photos of jenni will be coming next week, after I get plenty of photos of her drunk this friday.

Confused and wracked with self doubt.

Quick bullet pointed update is in order. Still not in the best mood for blogging.

• Friday went innes. A nice manly night in (except kate, who left fairly early) we ate pizza, drank large amounts of beer, and played video games. s'good.
• Saturday, played hockey. Lost 2-1 when we should have won. Got my second ever green card from BASTARD umpire who holds the theory that jab tackling can't possibly work, and is simply used to trip people up. Wanker. I wish some umpires would learn to play fucking hockey.
• The evening was spent round nicks, where I got very drunk and played On The Bus, a most excellent drinking game talk to us by mr nicholas beal.
• Sunday was spent sleeping until 4, then playing Guild Wars. Then sleeping. I'm now level 19. I should stop playing so much

And that was my weekend. I need some sleep. And some space.